By Emory Layne
(Warning: Dispatch rated PG-13 for repeated use of one word.)
Folks, we’re losing focus again. We can’t solve the many offshoots of the root problem if we don’t solve the root problem itself.
The root problem, of course, is the bullshit.
Decision-makers, public employees and committee appointees in North Plainfield have raised their bullshitting skills to Trenton-D.C. levels. We haven’t had an honest give-and-take with these people for ages.
Instead, we’ve had silence (Unspoken Bullshit).
We’ve had rumors (Gutless Bullshit).
And on the rare occasions when someone actually will speak with their mouth facing the microphone, we’ve had good ol’ All-American Bullshit.
Let’s start with some recent topics.
The school system. We’re discussing ‘rankings’ and ‘ratings.’ Bear in mind, the people who created the ranking system also decided a long time ago that it was unfair to grade students with ‘A’s’ or ‘F’s’ and created the “curve.”
I’m don’t care where North Plainfield ranks when some random educational “expert” picks the criteria.
I want straight answers to questions that, until now, have always had bullshit slung at them.
If there are illegal students in our system, they cost us money. They are not homeless people and rankings didn’t force their parents to send them here.
So, ”YES” or “NO” - are there illegal students in our system?
To Superintendents and Such:
Suppose you respond, on the record: “No.”
Will you quit immediately if we find one?
Suppose you respond, on the record, “Yes.”
Then why have you been denying it for years and/or doing absolutely nothing about it? When I do something illegal, I get busted. Why do these lawbreakers get amnesty?
Ranking, ratings, charts and graphs.
Parents of kids in the school system here repeatedly point to one factor that may well influence those rankings. What’s with the “diversity” bullshit?
The kids in this town handle diversity as well as – often better than – anyone I’ve ever seen. They learn it day-to-day, so they don’t need it shoved down their throats at every turn. Nonetheless, they get readings about diversity, in-class videos about diversity and assembly presentations about diversity, although in all these scenarios, the diversity excludes Caucasian characters, except as the villains.
Shelve the bullshit.
Why is so much time, energy and money wasted on an issue the kids handle better than the grown-ups – time that ought to be spent on vocabulary, math and sciences? Why can’t you focus on the nuts and bolts of education? Is it “cooler” and “more hip” to focus on this other stuff?
Yeah, my kid knows all about diversity and prejudice. He can’t divide numbers with more than one digit, but diversity? He’s a bloody diversity genius!
Note to y’all education adminstrators: the kids get it, as far as the diversity thing, as do plenty of us parents without masters degrees and doctorates and six-figure salaries. If you have a problem with the topic, that’s your demon. But don’t shove it down our throats on our dime. Educate, don’t indoctrinate.
Here’s another big bullshit pile downtown that’s been growing (and stinking) for 20 years – the illegal housing dung pile.
The politicians say it’s an issue until the votes are counted. Then they throw it on the heap.
Cut the bullshit. We’re not that stupid. You yourselves said it’s a problem, and the only explanation you’ve ever offered about why you do squat about it is ‘fear of lawsuits?’ Buck up. You did fine soap-boxing about it pre-election and then you hired your pals for the jobs responsible for dealing with it.
So why all the bullshit? Do your damn jobs! Lordy, people tell you where it is! How much easier a job do you want?
I read recently about historic preservation.
Hey, bullshit artists: You had no problem when Janice Allen did the “Save Vermeule” shtick; you got all the rules and regs just right on that one. That’s why it’s bullshit now, when you act like it’s too difficult and pretend you don’t even know how to do it.
Are you bullshitting me again? Are you trying to tell me you didn’t know historic preservation efforts were on the job description when you ran for office? Are you suggesting the “Save Vermeule” experts suffer from collective Alzheimer’s, and can’t remember how they did it?
You could fertilize acres with that explanation.
Mind you, these people also seem to know miniscule points about topics they oppose, but don’t even bother to read what they’re signing when it’s a topic they like.
Pure bullshit.
And by the way, Borough Hall renovation isn’t over budget. Why? Because if there was a budget, and the project cost more, the bullshitters just raised the budget.
That’s professional, all-star level bullshit.
They want more volunteer spirit downtown. But they’ve got a bunch of 100% volunteers (the NPCCR) working harder than any of the lifers in Borough Hall, to make North Plainfield better, and they try to sabotage them at every turn.
Bullllllll-shit.
I guess that’s not the kind of volunteerism they had in mind, because it’s not handing out Janice’s Last Minute Meeting fliers, or sending bulk emails to various communities badmouthing Katherine Watt.
How about the perks in the pay and benefits system?
We ask “Why?” and we get bullshit. Someone needs a vehicle because he’s a supervisor and on call 24/7/365. Is it bullshit to point out that there’s no good reason why the vehicle must be a snazzy chromed-up four-by-four pickup instead of a Ford Focus, since it never hauls anything even during business hours, and carries no emergency equipment?
No, in La-La-Land North Plainfield, that’s not bullshitting. That’s residents picking on Borough employees.
Borough leaders pick our pockets to waste it on bullshit, and they start crying for sympathy if we complain.
Why do we pay the Ritz salaries in North Plainfield when the work is more Woolworth’s Cafeteria?
Our police earn more than police in communities with very high crime, and, relatively speaking, person for person, there isn’t that much crime in the Borough.
Our fire department gets paid top dollar. How many calls are there here?
Borough employees have become so entrenched that they figuratively, and sometimes even literally thumb their noses at the taxpayers footing the bill.
“How about a little fiscal responsibility?” we ask. “How about you act like it’s your own business you’re running?”
No, we can’t suggest that. To them, that’s bullshit.
It’s old hat. If there’s a really ugly, pus-oozing issue you don’t want to address head-on, bury it in a thousand other topics. Sooner or later, people lose sight of Issue Number One, which is causing those 999 other problems in the first place.
Issue Number One is the complete lack of honesty, openness and balance downtown.
In 12 years of Janice Allen, her husband, and the In-Crowd, just about every important paid position down there has been filled by a Pal of the Party.
The buddy-buddy Council long ago decided the residents aren’t even worth talking to. But on the rare occasions when they have to, the bullshit tsunami comes a crashing in.
Folks: That. Is. The. Issue.
We matter to these people only when we cast a vote, pay our taxes and fees, and promise to clam up about the daily routine of “Heads we win, tails you lose.”
That’s the real bullshit.
And there’s a simple solution to the problem.
If someone has had years of opportunity to not bullshit, and has repeatedly bullshitted…get rid of ‘em.
If someone wants an opportunity, and bullshits, don’t give it to ‘em.
If someone has been paid to do something, and has instead bullshat their way from paycheck to paycheck, raise to raise, perk to perk, hire someone else.
We will be utterly amazed at how many of these other issues will be handled competently and will disappear by applying this simple approach.
Because people will be taking care of Borough business.
Not just bullshitting about it.