[Editor's Note: This dispatch is a point-counterpoint piece when read alongside Norman E. Ortega's post (below). However, Mr. Layne wrote it without having seen Mr. Ortega's post, and Mr. Ortega wrote his post without having seen Mr. Layne's post.]
By M. Emory Layne
Okay, I guess 2008 political-correctness demands that I start this dispatch with all the standard disclaimers.
I am not a racist. Some of my best friends are [fill in your favorite ethnic designation].
I feel the pain of [ibid].
Let’s all hold hands and live in peace and harmony.
Pardon me while I clean up the vomit from my laptop.
I am under no obligation to say that, and neither is anyone else. It’s done because no one wants to be branded a racist, the ultimate crime of the 21st century. In my mind, the situation crossed the boundary of ludicrousness when the right Rev. Al Sharpton decided he wanted to determine what the rules of language usage would be for the general population (who can and can’t say what).
I do, however, discriminate.
I discriminate against idiots.
I can’t stand idiots. I don’t believe idiots should have the right to vote. I don’t believe idiots deserve the constitutional protections that non-idiots have earned. And how, you may ask, do I define an “idiot?” It’s simple, really. Anyone who chooses not to see the common sense of a concept, but instead begins inserting moronic arguments into the process for no other reason than to bolster their idiotic pointless point … is an idiot.
I (and friends of mine) lived in apartments for years. Some of them weren’t half bad. They had running water and the vermin were tame.
Others were, well, lower in the Michelin guide. We used to comment, at the time, that the best job in the world must be being a landlord - you only have to ‘work’ one day a month, rent collection day.
Wait! you say. (You being a landlord.)
We have to repair things! We have taxes to pay! We have planes to catch and bills to pay!
Great, I’m happy for you - I never had the luck to rent from you.
I remember the portrayal of landlords in society at the time. White men. Shysters. Rich guys who lived in luxury while their tenants had collapsing floors. When they made that movie about a landlord being sentenced to live in his own flophouse, they cast Joe Pesci in the lead role, not Damon Wayans. No one complained. No one screamed “Racism!” when a big city busted a landlord - they screamed “More! More! More!”
The whole reason I was renting was that I was too poor to own. When I finally was able to own, the space was livable … but room enough for one family. I never had the access to capital to own more than one residential property, and there were no special loans available to me to make that happen because of the color of my skin. I owned one house, I lived in it.
It never crossed my mind to rent out my attic or my basement.
First of all, I needed that space to store stuff. Second, my life wasn’t all about more money, more money, more money. And third, and this is the big one, I admit, it was illegal to do so. Was I a saint? No. If I was ever tempted to consider doing that as an additional source of income, I knew it would be my luck that some meter reader would report me, or some problem would break out and a cop would notice.
I never had any concern about a zoning officer figuring it out because, well ….
Funny thing, though, now I’m hearing about people who own multiple single-family homes, and who are renting out those homes as apartments.
Must be those white shysters, right?
I’m hearing about people who own single-family homes, but charge other, non-related people money to live in parts of those homes.
Must be those greedy white guys, right?
But whenever I hear someone complain about it in a public forum, what I’m not hearing are the cries of “Woe is me! Woe is us! Get ‘em! Toss ‘em in jail! Fine ‘em!” I used to hear. I wonder why?
I don’t have to wonder anymore. People who contribute to this forum have answered the question for me. It’s no longer wrong for landlords to do these things! What’s wrong now is for people to complain about it, and for officials (if they were ever so inclined) to enforce the laws!
And why is that?
Because the shyster landlords aren’t white.
Oooooh, I just committed the ultimate sin, didn’t I? I just transgressed the unwritten law (though I can actually imagine that it will be written in the not-too-distant future).
I said a baaaaaaaaad ting about the ‘R’ issue!
Actually, what I said is pure, simple common sense. The racists are the ones who are throwing out all their ‘discrimination’ and ‘xenophobia’ sputum these days.
The same people who applauded the prosecution of evil Caucasian landlords (and probably, selectively, still do) don’t want the exact same process applied to other people doing the exact same things because of their last name or their skin color!
And that makes me racist?
Let’s take this very slowly and very simply, okay?
- Someone owns a building. Got that? Someone.
- The building is zoned as a single-family residence. Zoned, got that? Through a constitutional process creating a law pertinent to all people regardless of race, color and creed.
- That “someone” who owns the building that is “zoned” as a “single-family residence” BREAKS THE FREAKING LAW by renting it out, in whole or in part, and accepting rent (”payment,” “income”) from those to whom he or she rents.
Now, please explain to me what part of that I overlooked that says it’s okay for “someone” to do that if they are members of a particular race or ethnic group?
Or that it’s discrimination if those empowered to enforce the laws enforce them against someone who is a member of a particular race or ethnic group?
Go ahead - just remember, you’re stepping into the “idiot” position.
Great googly-mooglies, can it be any more cut-and-dried? If anything, it’s the ultimate Rainbow Coalition goal - anyone, regardless of race, color or creed, can now own a building or property … and anyone, etc. etc., can choose to abide by or break the law. So how brain-damaged do you have to be to attempt to make it into racism or discrimination?
Quite, apparently.
Find instances of racism in North Plainfield and post them on this blog.
I guaran-damn-tee you that residents will be up in arms, and will support you.
But what’s next? Are you going to claim racism each time a drug dealer gets busted if you find his last name is ethnic? Are you going to suggest that home-invaders and murderers walk because of the color of their skin? How idiotic are you?
Houses are not selling for three easy payments of $99.95 in North Plainfield. They cost big bucks. So someone already has enough money - or access to it — to purchase the property, right? Is that some poor, underprivileged soul?
Then, unlike all the people in town who buy a house to raise their family, mow their lawn, and park their 2 or maybe 3 cars, someone decides to make even more money by renting out a basement or an attic or a garage (there’s a house in town that installed a toilet in the garage, I kid you not; it was reported but never busted by the zoning office) to people, right?
Now, they’re even poorer?
You’ve just got to stop eating those mushrooms that grow on your front lawn.
The apartment buildings in town don’t have “sorry, no vacancy” signs posted on them.
This isn’t a ‘supply versus demand’ issue.
This is a “finally got my piece of the pie” issue. A crook is a crook is a crook.
You want racially-diverse law enforcement? No one, regardless of race, color or creed, should be allowed to break the law in North Plainfield by using single-family homes as apartments. Yet the only outcry I hear from these self-righteous activists is that it’s racist to bust people if they are minorities.
Please - go back to Idiotville. Leave the discussions and solutions to people who have an ounce of common sense. Or, better yet, call me a racist. Prove my point.